G&S Lounge

People often use the term "failing up" in reference to Massachusetts-educated nepo babies, faceless civic administrators, decadent-aesthete art groupies, venture-funded tech swindlers, and other white-collar jagoffs that succeed no matter what new summits of failure they've planted their flag in. But I propose that the dive bar owner should very much be included in this conversation.

There just aren't many jobs where you can be horrible at personal interaction, accounting, maintenance, showing up on time, and general human behavior, and the money keeps on rolling in. Jimmy, the owner and proprietor of G&S Lounge, seems to be in this much-envied position. He presides over his Smaugian hoard of inoperable arcade games like a Dave & Busters manager who started smoking crystal, lost his money on the ponies, and leased the place out to the Yugoslavian mob.

The online reviews for G&S Lounge range from alarming to Stockholm syndrome study cases. Inside, you’ll find random junk everywhere, overpriced drinks, and a perpetual projection of the Windows 98 desktop screen that might Snow Crash your brain into oblivion. A hard-edged communist on molly might challenge you to a game of pool. A random dog might walk up to you. Anything can happen.

G&S Lounge is one of the last real dive bars left in Austin. If you don't get kicked out, you may grow to love it. Just like an abusive relationship.

///

Standout online reviews:

"This is some kind of insurance scam right?"

"Galaga sit down machine ate 2 quarters. I told jimmy about it and he told me to get the f*** out. He grabbed the billy club and walked me out."

"I have been charged three different prices for drinks in the same night. I think the owner just makes s*** up on a whim."

"My uber driver picked me up there one night and said 'F*** that place—the owner pepper sprayed me and my friend years ago just for being drunk.'"

"One time years ago, Jimmy actually had some 'Beer Nazi' shirts printed up because that's what everyone called him."

"If this place isn't run by serial killers it damn well should be."