King's X

If you find yourself in Barcelona, wandering La Rambla late at night, filled with sherry wine and regret, veer off to Placa Reial and look for the tall brown doors, buzz yourself in, and march up the steps to find Pipa Club. Then, pay the doorman the fee, and he'll print you a membership card to a tucked-away cocktail lounge where cigar smoke and jazz music fill the air.

Alternately, if you find yourself near the University of Chicago campus, dust off your most academic sport coat and beeline for Ida Noyes Hall. In the basement, there's a students- and faculty-only bar, named simply The Pub, that looks like it was recreated from a Harry Potter set piece. A membership is required here as well, but if you look the part, chances are you'll get waved through with a cover.

And if you're in Dallas, TX, there's another members-only drinking option that's much more accessible. Located on the NE side, King's X is technically a private club, though I'm still quite confused about how this works, exactly, or why it works the way it works. (Word is it’s a dry area.)

Upon entering, a salty barkeep will ask if you're a member. If you're not, they'll scan your driver's license and hand back a receipt for you to sign. Somehow, this completes your membership process. You may then order a beverage, or ask what food is available that day. On my visit, it was potato soup.

King's X checks many boxes for what you'd expect from a solid dive: pool table, shuffleboard, humorous signs on the walls. One sign reads, "No talking about politics, religion, or Bob (battery operated boyfriend) at the bar." But what's most surprising is its street cred among celebrity hotshots. Owen and Luke Wilson have been known to hang out here, as well as former Mavericks coach Don Nelson. Owen and Don were even spotted here at the same time. That would've been one helluva night.

If I showed you a photo of the King's X and told you it's a membership club where the Wilson brothers and Don Nelson hang out, you wouldn't believe me. And maybe you still don't. So I guess you'll just have to go there yourself and ask. I highly recommend it.