Lizzard's Pub

Ghosts are total bullshit but I do think it's hilarious that tour guides all over the world successfully convince people that souls move on to the afterlife but then come back to our mortal plane just so they can walk around the hallways of old houses. I mean, even after we die we still can't get out of the house and do something fun? Come on now. If I was a ghost I'd be haunting a strip club or a beach in Hawaii, not some dusty Victorian mansion.

But if ghosts were real, they would probably be haunting the crap out of Lizzard's Pub. I mean, look at this place. It looks like a swamp house filled with estate sale furniture. Dark room in the back? Check. Decades-old carpeting? Check. A vintage chest filled with god-knows-what? Check.

The spooky vibes are strong at this 40-year-old neighborhood dive. But the best part about Lizzard's is how it doesn't seem to fit the neighborhood at all. Houston's zoning is as lax as University of Oklahoma admission standards but this does allow for weirdo bars to pop up in residential areas, which is a plus in my book.

Lizzard's Pub has a few other things going for it besides the '70s suburban basement vibe. The popcorn machine is a nice touch and there's plenty of space out on the front porch. I love the pressed-copper ceiling and the name is pretty good too. If you’re into the bare-minimum aesthetic, your standards will be met here.

Overall, a good Houston dive to visit. Dead or alive.

Online reviews

- "Mom always told my Brother and me, don’t waste your money on a funeral for me, just throw me in the back of Brother’s Suburban, stop at Lizzard’s and buy a round of drinks for the house on me. And, so we did!"
- "Best bar in America hands down."
- "Don't take a first date here."
- 'There's also a guy that calls himself CaptainTamale on social media who works there and sells tamales."
- "Back couch countertop smells fantastic. Ask Mike for a key in the back."
- "I still can't seem to figure out why people love this dark, dirty, dank and disgusting time trap."
- "The last time I was here, there was a college-aged dude straight up passed out on a couch in the back."