Loebau Store

"My great granddaddy built this on the day my grandma was born," said the plain-dressed barkeep as he dug around the fridge to find the beer that I had ordered. He had followed me into the joint just two minutes prior. When I parked my car out front, he was standing outside, supervising a couple of locals as they worked on jump-starting an old truck under the hot Texas sun.

Now that I was inside the dark, musty edifice, I could see how catching some sun outside might be preferable when there's no regulars sidled up to the bar. Once I got my beer, I fished for some more info about this mysterious dive-slash-store perched on a country road in Central Texas. I found out that it's been serving locals for generations. It also hosts live music on special occasions (about quarterly) and a monthly domino tournament that locals tend to get up for. I bet those are some pressure-cooker domino games.

But don't get it twisted, sister: This is, bar none, one of the diviest dive bars in the state of Texas. Holy fuck. The dust here can be bottled and sold for a premium to haunted houses prepping their decorations for Halloween. Rumors say Kathryn Bigelow would come here and chug wine out of a cowboy boot and write scenes in a journal made of human skin and pray to The Sandman under the pale moon to find inspiration for filming ‘Near Dark’. The Holy Grail is hidden under one of the floorboards, people say. There are whispers.

Imbibe in enough whisky and the hearsay will make perfect sense as you look around and soak in the sights, including a wooden stove standing in the middle of the bar, exposed drywall, shelves of garage tools, and the aforementioned floorboards—which creak like a retired WWE wrestler's back.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is an epic dive. If you come here to enjoy a cold beverage, you can take solace that you've been to the kind of bar that would give the pencil-necks at Thrillist or wherever an actual heart attack. I don't know how many more years the Loebau Store will be around, but I hope it's many, many more. I just know I'll be back because usually time flies, but here it stands still.