Pendleton Pump
Temple, TX
The decor? Deleted scenes from a Rob Zombie movie. The bathroom? A step down from peeing in an alley. The crowd? Iron-livered charlatans and your mom's on-and-off-again boyfriend. The smell? Cigarette butts in a humidifier. The patio? A UN border crossing station.
So, would I come back to the Pendleton Pump? Absolutely. 100%.
Sure, it may not have niceties like "a working jukebox," but it's a cheap, entertaining bar found a bit off the beaten path. The bartender here will take care of you and the patrons are a hoot. There are a couple of pool tables in at least serviceable condition. A stage in the back room sits next to a bit of dance floor, though I'm not sure how much use that gets these days. The men’s bathroom has convenient ashtrays so you can still suck down a heater while watering the lawn.
You can't always judge a public defense attorney by their toupee, they say. (Well, at least I do.) In the case of the Pendleton Pump, that's definitely true. The staff and the crowd here are great, and the beer is cold and cheap. Give it a shot if you're in the area.
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Overheard in the bar:
“That’s life. When something quits on you, you gotta pick up something else. That goes for women too. You ain’t seen me with any women. But that’s okay. I like to keep it that way.”
“What happened to the jukebox?”
“The lady who was taking care of it didn’t pay for the permits so the state comptroller came down and shut it off.”
“I’d hate to have a last name like ‘Hooker’.”
“I’ve got an organ. Can you play an organ?”
“I hope you’re talking about one with a keyboard.”
“I’ve been coming here since I was 16. I’m 75.”
“I’ve never had a birthday party. Ain’t nobody likes me. I was over in Vietnam for my 21st birthday.”
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Standout Google reviews:
“If you're looking for ‘A Hole in the Wall’ then this is it. Locals treat you like family. Coldest beer in Bell County.”
“My bar fight record here is 17-1-0. Floyd overserved me so he could try to win one a few weeks ago but he's getting old.”
“Picked up 2 railroad workers.”