Poison Girl

Now this is a bar with something for everyone. Opened in 2004 by Rudyard's Pub vets, Poison Girl has collected something like 500 American whiskeys on its shelves, several classic pinball machines, dozens of saucy portraits of naked women, and one giant Kool-Aid man on its patio. OH YEAH!

It's set up for mass appeal, like a pop star in a mini skirt. Speaking of which, Dua Lipa partied here before a concert in 2022, which got this place a lot of buzz. It also got me thinking about what kind of celebrity sightings would garner the most cred. Personally, if you told me Michael Mann showed up to a local dive in a $5,000 Egyptian cotton suit, smoking heaters and telling stories of James Caan ripping lines with boom operators on the set of 'Thief', I'd beeline there like it was the last chopper leaving Saigon.

A quick aside—during an interview, the endlessly entertaining Mr. Caan once compared marriage to a tornado: "There's all this blowing and sucking at the beginning, and at the end you lose your house." Love this guy, RIP.

Okay, back on track. Poison Girl is also an interesting case because I've read dozens of online articles referring to it as a dive bar, though I think that's somewhat debatable for a place that, according to 'Condé Nast Traveler', has "arguably the South’s most impressive whiskey selection."

On the other hand, ''Houston Press' adds, "Before the smoking ban passed, this place was a Marlboro-sponsored sauna." So it's a fine line, and I'm more than happy to let Houston locals argue about this one.

All I know is this is a great place for serious drinking. Sit down and drown the demons out with some fine Kentucky bourbon. Someone on the patio will be more than happy to donate you a Marlboro Red.

Lots of local beers on the roster here. Also a photo booth to document the mistakes. Looks like the kinda place that won’t care about slipping a nip.

Wish this bar was in my neighborhood. You can take a date here, or your degenerate friend who dropped out of high school and started boosting cars. Or Michael Mann, to be honest. Poison Girl rocks like Colin Farrell's handlebar mustache in 'Miami Vice'. Great spot, no notes.