Shorty's Place
Port Aransas, TX
About 180 miles southeast of San Antonio on the Gulf Coast, you'll find a 2,900-person town clinging to its scrap of land on Mustang Island. Port Aransas they call it, and its residents like to say they're "Port A strong." For good reason too, since Port A has seen its fair share of hurricanes–most recently Hurricane Harvey in 2017.
It's here that you'll find Shorty's Place, the dirtiest and dustiest bar I've ever been to. Known as the "oldest and friendliest bar in Port Aransas (according to the sign out front), Shorty's Place was opened in 1946 by Mack Daniel & Gladys (Shorty) Fowler, and operated by their family until late 2012. Currently, it's owned and operated by the Myers'. (Any relation to Michael Myers?)
It's adorned with hats. Lots of hats. Hundreds of hats hanging from the ceiling. Covered in dust and cobwebs. This place has probably been flooded a dozen times, and keeps on chugging along like a punch-drunk boxer laboring through the 8th round. According to Texas Bucket List, "Some folks will even use the hats to help pay for a round. They’ll put a 10 dollar or 20 dollar bill in the hat, and when their friends come down here they’ll go, ‘Hey go find my hat. There’s a 20-dollar bill in the rim. I’ll buy y’all a drink.’”
Dusty. Smells bad. Poor ventilation. Questionable service. Great dive bar. Absolute classic. Does this review scale make sense? No. No, it doesn't. But you should go anyways.
Here are some choice cuts from Yelp reviews:
"Let's say about 20 years ago, I would get a kick out of watching the old lady watching over the young boys that would come in. She would sit in the window at night. I told my husband that was going to be me one day! Ha!"
"Not moaning being an ex smoker, but better ventilation could have kept me there longer. A dump to be sure. Dusty hats and cobwebs."
"I've been going to Port A since the 1960s and remember seeing Shortys from the back window of my dad's car many years in a row. Later on I was old enough but never visited. So, this trip I thought I'd better go for nostalgic reasons before a hurricane blows it away."