The Gas Station

I hate lines. Who doesn’t? Some of us have a certain capacity for them. Others, like myself, wither under the crushing weight of impatience and Sisyphean dread. Why endure this exercise when we live in an age of brain-rotting immediacy? A few taps on a phone and you can get practically anything you want in no time. Swipe my card and jab my vein. But people do wait in lines. They exist!

Case in point: The average person will spend 52 days of their life standing in a line. During the height of Beatlemania in the early '60s, there was a concert ticket line in Portsmouth that started 90 hours before the box office opened. When the first-ever Mcdonald's opened in Moscow, 30,000 people showed up. The average wait time was 8 hours. Can you imagine? For a Big Mac! Hell, I even waited 4 eternal hours in line for a rattlesnake hot dog and duck fat fries at the famous (and since departed) Hot Doug's in Chicago, though I learned my lesson after that experience.

Or so I thought. Here I was, standing in a looong line that snaked into the parking lot at a BBQ joint in Bastrop. Cars lined the shoulder of the road out front—not to mention the parking lot. Had I stumbled upon the next-great Texas BBQ spot?

Maybe? (I still actually haven't tried the BBQ.) It turns out that the Gas Station, besides being a barbecue restaurant, is also a filming location from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974). The actor who played the murderous maniac in the film (Leatherface) was in attendance when I visited and throngs of horror fans had shown up to snap a pic and get collectibles signed. Suddenly, the hoopla made sense.

This is a hotspot for horror fans, and along with barbecue, you can buy various horror collectibles here. The sign out front reads "WE SLAUGHTER BARBECUE" and there's a rusted-out truck that's apparently a movie replica. In the back, you'll find small cabins that fans rent out to enjoy a murder-vibes getaway.

Personally, I prefer scenic vistas on vacation, but to each their own. I may not be a horror fan, but there's no denying that the Gas Station is a certified Texas classic. Hold the blood; pass the beer.