The Lone Star Float House

I like the Lone Star Float House because you can take your pants off at the door. And you won’t even get added to a state registry. Can’t say that about a lot of places these days.

That’s because this spot is perfectly situated on the Guadalupe River and offers the opportunity to get nearly naked and jump into the frosty waters. You can even rent a tube and they’ll shuttle you upriver. Knock back a few beers and float back in river-cooled bliss. One of the few times when drinking with a wet ass is a good time. Just take it easy or you’ll end up doing a Kendall-Roy-in-a-pool-on-limoncello impression.

We all know how hot Texas can get. Hotter than Tabasco on your junk. Hotter than a Ford Pinto radiator. Hotter than a bisexual barista that’s nice to you. (You get the picture.)

But few bars have a patio that’s actually IN the water. When it’s 100 degrees outside, it’s the best seat in town. The prices run a bit high but the owner knows what they’re doing. If you want to cool off, you’ll pay.

Wait ‘til it gets hot enough and it’ll feel like a bargain. 🔥